The Liberty Agenda
Representing the tn-07
The current scene in DC is an absolute dumpster fire, and Tennessee doesn’t need another Standard Issue Rich White Republican in office to suck on the teat of power until they’re able to find a cushy corporate lobbying job (cough cough Mark Green) or convince you to let them be the Governor (cough cough Marsha Blackburn).
Tennessee deserves a representative who understands survival and grit. Liberty Whiskers knows exactly what Tennesseans need - he should know, he’s lived in their trash. Liberty Whiskers doesn’t make empty promises; he makes midnight raids on overflowing bins. While career politicians are busy posturing, Liberty is out there with his paws in the dirt, defending freedom one trash can at a time.
He’s not polished. He’s not bought. He’s just exactly what Tennessee needs right now: resourceful, relentless, and slightly rabid for change. Nobody can handle the trash situation in DC better.
End partisan gerrymandering
The Republicans redistricted Nashville in 2020 so that the city has effectively no representation in Congress, splitting it three ways like a leftover pizza. I will work to end partisan gerrymandering and revert Nashville back to its own district in 2030.
The Right to bear raccoons
Liberty Whiskers had his political awakening volunteering for the 2014 Coonrippy for Governor campaign, after his aunt Rebekah was needlessly ripped away from her family and thrown in an animal control cage. Tennesseans should be able to keep raccoons.
Work for the middle class
The government should work for the 99%, not the wealthy. While Wall Street burns, Liberty thrives. As the DOGE cuts and Big Beautiful Bill reduce services for the poor to give more money to the wealthy, he’s a walking example of post-apocalyptic readiness, able to live off grid, off scraps, and off instinct.
Return to the Gold Standard
Liberty Whiskers supports backing the dollar with shiny, solid things—like gold bullion and commemorative Elvis coins from Columbia pawn shops. Tennessee families deserve a currency as dependable as a Bojangles biscuit.
Second Amendment
Liberty supports the right to defend your den. Whether with teeth, claws, or concealed snack-based deterrents, you have the right to protect what’s yours.
Anti-Deep State
Liberty Whiskers opposes all surveillance, cages, microchips, and suspicious traps baited with peanut butter. He is deeply suspicious of squirrels, who are working as spies for the government.